Our hands

I think we all have things we notice in others from eyes to whatever. I notice different things to but I always look at people's hands. This is a part of the body that is used constantly. I think this is a special part that we forget about. Our hands can do so much and show our lives and how we are.

What made me think of this was at church, hands can show love to others, while holding a lovely ladies hands and sharing a moment with her, I held her hands. Love just comes through. When someone walks by and just places a hand on your shoulder, it's showing they care. Our hands work so hard everyday and there are some of us whose hands have a hard time with everyday tasks. 

I love when my daughter puts her small sweet hand in mine or my son with his big hands just cover mine, I feel love and I smile. My husband will pat my hand or for fun will hold the end of my finger which is sweet. Just think about all the touches you have recieved with love. To me it's just like a hug, if you don't feel it don't do it. I like real hugs, I like holding hands of those I love. Lida Harper is one of my favorites, she just exudes love. The one lady that made me think of this was Mary Nell, just a simple touch that just gave comfort meant so much. Like the Bible says, laying on of hands. We need healing, let's pray and place our loving hands on them. 

I know this my sound odd but this is me not always normal, hands can show so much love or do harm. I prefer to show love. In someone's hands you can tell that time has worked them hard. I noticed the other day that Anthony's hands look like his dad's. Same shape and same memory of hard work. Our hands are a great use of goodness. I know when I don't have words to say I can hug you or place my hand in yours to show I care. I'm a touchy feely person anyway but in a good way. Sometime pay attention to someone's hands and how they use them. See how much love you feel through them. Today I'm thankful for my hands. I can rub my child's head or back, I can wipe a tear as a friend did for me, Tracy Noles and I can shake a hand to meet or invite someone in. If the hand of God is everywhere maybe it's our hands He's using. Have a great day.

Smile at what we cannot see

I've decided watching the news is bad very bad because it's never good. We all know how ugly our world is getting, how people are treating one another and how bad it's going to get, well if your a christian you know this. There are so many many things that we cannot comprehend that is coming our way or things we will have to endure till our Lord comes for us but I have one thought in my mind that brought me to a smile today, heaven.

I have so many awesome thoughts in my head how Heaven will be, I can picture all the things that I hope it is and things and people I hope to see. None of us really can grasp how spectacular it's going to be. I know in my vision I can't wait see to Jesus face to face. When I think about it, I hope I can look at Him but out of reverence I will want to bow my head. I know that God knows what we like, what gives us joy and I believe we will have all of it there. My favorite idea of Heaven, next to meeting Jesus in His home that becomes mine, is my cabin by the lake with my family and a porch all the way around. I will be able to enjoy what God has created all around me. I will be able to hear all the stories I've read about from the first ones who followed our Savoir, who touched Him first and I will be able to do the same. I will get to hear all the singers gone on singing praises to our God, first hand. 

I know here on earth there is beauty, there are great singers and I have a relationship with God, but the right in my face kind of day is coming, all the beauty that now as a human I see, I will see so much more that  my eyes couldn't even handle it now, to the praise that will cover my body and mind to where I'm overtaken by such bliss. Not to mention to sit at the feet of Jesus with the knowing, I made it, I endured I was steadfast till the end. What a feeling that has never been felt before except from the blessed ones who have gone on before us. 

Since God created this beautiful world, well eye has not seen what will be seen by His chosen. Clear crystal sparkling waters, emerald green of grass and trees, the bluest of blues not yet even conceived yet and such tranquility that our cups will just be overflowed. Oh my goodness at the blessing awaiting us if we only stay strong and believe. We will have supper with our Father and have our ultimate healing. I hope I can continue my walk with courage and show I love God and not just use words. The devil knows the scripture to and I don't want to just know it I want to walk the best I can. I know mistakes will happen, my road my be bumpy and life gets in the way at times, but I have to endure till the end because I know the end of the story.

Wishy washy

I think I should call this Lisa's diary therapy blog just because I keep writing how I feel or what happened on the day. Today's therapy will be called wishy washy. My last blog was about letting things go and realizing how strong I am and to talk myself into thinking that I'm worth it. Well I lost that battle, I went from 0 to 60 in less then a day. 

I had been praying for a friend and myself with a situation and I was more or less begging God for a sign. Send me a dream, scripture or something and then I got this thought. These drive me crazy. Well it was a question. Who is Lisa? I couldn't answer it. I wanted to say a proud child of God, a prayer warrior and stand up kinda gal. But nope, nada, I thought all negative stuff. Now to be truthful, I am stronger then I've given myself credit for but sometimes being nice is not so nice. I do allow others to use or walk all over me because I don't want to make waves or hurt feelings. I hold things in way to long to where I make myself sick. I care for others more then myself and sometimes I want to be selfish and not care at all. I have heard or have been taught through the years that everyone has some kind of talent. Something to give or share with others and at first I thought it was what I wrote. It's not that, I'm not good at always saying things right or being correct in my grammar and those things I dont care about. I thought maybe my talent was caring for people because of my mom and my family, right now I don't know this to be true. Maybe it's just being here to listen, I can do that and I'm not always judgmental but even that I'm not sure about. Who is Lisa? Well the obvious thing, I am a caregiver, a mom, a wife and a friend. I know I'm far from being good all the time, I know I'm needy at times but I will say I have a big heart. I truly care. Down side to that, my feelings are all over my sleeve and they get hurt often. 

I don't want to be used but I want to be needed, I would really like for others to know I need them as they need me. I'm scared quite often, confused and I don't know where to turn latley, but I am trying to pay more attention to what I do have and not what I don't . I'm a little lazy because I haven't cared enough for myself and I want to break that. It's funny that what we are around we become. So I guess Lisa is, well a little lost right now, she's trying to find her way and find herself. 

When you are used to being ran over you just keep running with the traffic, like that dog chasing a car, they never learn till they catch it, make contact then the consequences are brutal. I'm striving to let out what's hiding on the inside to come out and face the world, no more pretending like everything's ok. Anyone who knows me knows I hate pretenders . I think if I ever won the lottery ( gotta buy a ticket for that) anyway if I did, I would pay someone to make my decisions and carry my purse. I'm tired of doing both those things. It's a wonder I can even think my poor mind is so full. If I was to give the devil credit, it would be that he has done a job on my mind, but I'm not giving him credit because I don't want to make it easy for him to make me week. 

Therapy good, thinking bad, so now hopefully sleep will be my little bit of peace. Advice, get to know yourself and be happy with you. It shouldn't be in the control of another person. Nite all, push through the ceiling with your prayers.

Damed up

There was a story in Sunday school that described exactly how I have been feeling, actually is was more of a sentence. It used as a example a dam holding all the water back. Well this is me, I have said I feel like I could explode as in scream , cry, yell all my emotions in one. It is like a dam, and if the dam breaks, what happens? For some strange reason I feel like this is what needs to happen to me, let the waters flow till there's nothing left. 

You know this could be how Jesus must feel. All this awfulness in the world is building and one day the dam will break, God will allow everything that is not of Him to be swept away, nothing left. I have let so much slide, I have allowed myself to be hurt, I've made myself feel like I'm not important enough only because I feel others are more important or I feel unworthy, like for all my wrongs God is punishing me. I can't blame others for not caring for me, I can't be sad over friends, I can't allow myself anymore to live for others and not myself. I have pushed all my issues, troubles, hurts and pains to the side because I don't want to burden people or I feel they really don't care. This has been my way of thinking for so long that it needs to stop.

I can't make others like me, talk to me or make time for me unless they actually want to. I can't make decisions under duress anymore or because I'm afraid of making the wrong one for fear of hurting someone else. God says I matter and I have to believe this. My sanity needs to believe this. 

I guess my dam is breaking down, it's seeping through and there will be a lot of loss. You know something else, there's always casualties when you make changes or just choose a different way. I have felt alone by myself for so long, I've even felt far from God because my hurt seems endless. I know at some point it will get better, sooner then later I hope but till then, I can't worry that I cry every day or if it bothers someone, I can't be sad over changes in my life because it will over take me and I can't keep worrying about hurting others feelings all the time, I can't make everyone happy and from my experience they can't make me happy, they can help but that's it. 

Being damed up will cause destruction and decay sometimes breaking is the only way to rid yourself of dirty stagnet clutter. I love water and I would hate for something I love to carry my life away.