Home for me

Another dear diary moment. Yesterday and today I went for my short walk down to the creek. I love it there, love the sound because it's so peaceful to me. It actually calms me and I can think more clearly. Well this morning after checking on our little fire pit, gotta keep it going, I was reminded of something I said yesterday to God. See as I walk I talk and talk. I'm so very thankful of my eyes and ears, the beauty I have as I'm outside is just awesome to me and the sounds of the birds, the creek and the fie popping, what wonders God has placed here for me. 

Anyway, I'm just thankful to have the home I have, with all its need to be fixed things, I like it. Even if I had won the lottery, I'd still want my little piece of land. It's my first real home. It doesn't have to make anyone else happy, it doesn't have to impress it just has to be here for me and mine. 

The other day I was thinking about how I grew up, not my favorite memories at all, but for some reason I was remembering all the houses I had lived in. I stopped counting I think at 29. None was ever my home, not really. None of them were something I'd call a for sure place to lay my head. My home here is. I look forward to coming home. I know things can happen but I believe God granted me a blessing that I never knew I'd have. After over thirty years of being here, I still want another thirty. 

I had said to a friend a few weeks ago, where you lived or how you lived can't define how you live your life now, man that sounded smart, and I believe it. God has plans that we do not know, He can make a way where our human mind can't ever see how, He can place people in your life or take them out, God can and He will as long as we believe. 

I have found my hopefulness here in the last month and I'm doing my best to not let others take it away as Ive done before. I'm doing my best to have a positive quote and scripture every morning and it's true, you have to start something before you can see results. I know I have written about my home before, it's just it has really been in my heart how much it means to me. Everyone has something in their lives that was needed. I thought I needed more friends, no I just needed a good few to help me moan and groan about everyday life, I have love in my family, I have a mom now, that's was years in the making, but also proof, it's in Gods timing not ours, I thought lots of money would make me happier, I know it can help with things but not increase your happiness with yourself or others. If I can sit in my back yard around our little fire, hear the creek down the hill and have a conversation with my hubby and son, I can smile and actually feel my hope and my content at that moment. It's funny how a home can mend a heart, and God placed me in it. 

Things are not perfect but as long as I keep praying and being thankful eventually it will all work out. Sometimes things have to happen in ways we don't want them to or could even imagine in ours lives, but God knows what He's doing even when we don't. I hope my kids will remember love, comfort and good times in my home, that's a memory I didn't have growing up. Thank you God for my home, if this is what a home feels like, man my home in heaven will be overwhelming:)

A special backyard fire

I'm starting off with omgosh it's 2016! I'm hoping for so much, no resolutions just things I want to improve on. Like being more aware of how blessed I am. Way before Christmas I have been finding a quote that is positive along with a scripture that I can carry through the day. This really does help along with counting your blessings.

Last night, like many nights Anthony will build a fire outside, he loves that. It's always so pretty and some nights have been very cold. Last nights was just right. The fire was bright red with just a slight breeze, not to cold and a sky full of stars. As we stood there we could hear the creek rolling down the hill and the fire popping now and then. There was a little mist in the air, from the rain moving in, with a few scattered clouds, and just so peaceful. How someone could not enjoy all this natural beauty is beyond me. This little fire brought to my attention again all the blessings all around me. As we talked and looked around at our blessings, I smiled. Our house may be old, but it's warm, it holds my family, it has some food inside and it is very lived in, I'm so thankful. Our property may not be all flat, but for us it's big and just right for us. Not everything works all the time but God provides a way when it doesn't. 

 I can smile just standing around this fire and just talk and watch it burn. For me it's a way to be with someone with no interruptions and I love the feel and smell of wood burning. I'm not a good camper but I'm a good back yard sitter. It's so nice that something so simple can cause you to look around and realize what you have. I'm blessed:) I have a warm bed to sleep in, I have a roof over my head, I have clothes and comfy socks, I have a hot cup of cappuccino or cold sweet tea, I have my son who makes me laugh everyday, I have a hubby who builds the fire, I have a few friends and a good church and a awesome God. I have healthy grown up kids and a mom who is doing well. I could go on and on because this is what I need to think on. All the positive in my life. What so ever is good and worthy think on these things. 

Some may think this silly but you know what, this makes me smile and smile even more to know God provided this for me. He brought my childhood wish to life, to live in one place and call it home. I'm keeping my fire burning with as much positivity as I can. My road may have bumps or logs in the way, but I will continue to walk over them and burn the logs. I would never of thought something so small as a fire could hold such special memories and realizations, and how it can be so fierce and strong with its flame. I hope my flame burns brighter this year and I don't allow others to blow it out. May God show you your blessings because there's so many.