Anyway, I'm just thankful to have the home I have, with all its need to be fixed things, I like it. Even if I had won the lottery, I'd still want my little piece of land. It's my first real home. It doesn't have to make anyone else happy, it doesn't have to impress it just has to be here for me and mine.
The other day I was thinking about how I grew up, not my favorite memories at all, but for some reason I was remembering all the houses I had lived in. I stopped counting I think at 29. None was ever my home, not really. None of them were something I'd call a for sure place to lay my head. My home here is. I look forward to coming home. I know things can happen but I believe God granted me a blessing that I never knew I'd have. After over thirty years of being here, I still want another thirty.
I had said to a friend a few weeks ago, where you lived or how you lived can't define how you live your life now, man that sounded smart, and I believe it. God has plans that we do not know, He can make a way where our human mind can't ever see how, He can place people in your life or take them out, God can and He will as long as we believe.
I have found my hopefulness here in the last month and I'm doing my best to not let others take it away as Ive done before. I'm doing my best to have a positive quote and scripture every morning and it's true, you have to start something before you can see results. I know I have written about my home before, it's just it has really been in my heart how much it means to me. Everyone has something in their lives that was needed. I thought I needed more friends, no I just needed a good few to help me moan and groan about everyday life, I have love in my family, I have a mom now, that's was years in the making, but also proof, it's in Gods timing not ours, I thought lots of money would make me happier, I know it can help with things but not increase your happiness with yourself or others. If I can sit in my back yard around our little fire, hear the creek down the hill and have a conversation with my hubby and son, I can smile and actually feel my hope and my content at that moment. It's funny how a home can mend a heart, and God placed me in it.
Things are not perfect but as long as I keep praying and being thankful eventually it will all work out. Sometimes things have to happen in ways we don't want them to or could even imagine in ours lives, but God knows what He's doing even when we don't. I hope my kids will remember love, comfort and good times in my home, that's a memory I didn't have growing up. Thank you God for my home, if this is what a home feels like, man my home in heaven will be overwhelming:)
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