They call me mom

When I woke up this morning I had a sence of joy and sadness, it's like I was happy but sad at the same time. I know it's because of all the changes happening this year and they have been constant on my mind. I'm ready for them but yet I'm not if this makes any since.

See my lovely daughter will be getting married. I'm excited for her and to see what she does in her own life. I feel I've taught her well enough to do what she needs to do. Yet I'm sad for me, this beautiful young women I've taken care  of for 21 years will be in the hands of someone else. I know he is capable, I know he loves her, but momma here, as I cry right now, misses her already and she's not even gone. 

These last few months I've tried to look back on certain things, and I've even questioned if my kids were truly happy with how they were raised. I know no teenager would think they were, but through all the misunderstandings and madness I believe they are happy, mostly. I see the traits in my daughter that I want to shake out of her and others that I'm glad she has. She is organized, efficient, strong willed, opinionated, smart, beautiful, stubborn, lovable and she loves. And yes some of these are from me :) while other parts I will not take credit for. 

She loves God and believes in prayer and I hope she continues through her life with this. While letting go of certain other qualities that hinder her. 

I can't tell you how much I've cried preparing myself for her not being in my house, but the funny part is, I'm ready for it to. God helped me raise her to grow up and have her own life. I'm so proud of her. She knows what she wants and let me tell you she will put her foot down till it happens. 

Her hubby to be has got to be more understanding and very patient as they move forward. He will have his hands full. She may be little but her attitude is 8 foot tall. It's a good thing her fiancé already understands her and loves her anyway. 

I try to think about the saying, your not loosing a daughter your gaining a son, and I'm glad for that, I already love him, but this is my little girl. My heart beats at just the thought of her or my son. Moms will so get this. I look at her in the mornings and I see this precious girl all grown up and I can't believe she is mine. With tears in my eyes I smile at the thought. 

God truly taught me love when He gave me kids. My son will graduate this year to. He has grown so fast. I know he will still be home with me for a while and I love it. He is so funny, a country boy, not at all like his sister as far as being organized or efficient. He's handsome, has a big heart and he wants what he wants, but wants it yesterday. He loves God and will stand up for Him. My son does have a certain sarcastic ness that's not always attractive but he's learning.  He learns things pretty quick when he wants to, he just chooses to not. He's a real guy, but I will say he does love his mom. 

I'm interested to see what else will happen through his life because he has been the opposite of his sister, he's been the hider of facts and she would have to tell me. He's been brave about going out on his own, she didn't want to. If either of them did anything wrong, sissy would be the first to tell me because she couldn't stand it. Now son, he wouldn't tell but he would feel really bad and I'd know.

We moms always know, if not right then we always find out. I love my kids so much. I'm so thankful God trusted me enough to let them be in my life. I'm overwhelmed at how much one person can love another. I'm happy they call me mom:)