My life is a journey as everyone else's. We start off being taken care of then and end up being taken care of again. I became a caregiver way to early in life, but sometimes things are chosen for us even under duress. I became a wife and continued to learn to be a different kind of caregiver, then a mom which is the ultimate way to give of yourself in so many ways, not to mention what you choose to give up for your children, moms are just awesome that way. Then again I start to be a caregiver in another different way to my mom again. I guess this must be something I'm suppose to do. Things choose us we don't choose them sometimes. Not sure but God must think I'm capable even when I don't think so. He chooses the unqualified to do jobs you'd never think you could do.
I think this is one of the hardest jobs ever. Your heart will either be torn apart or overfilled with emotions and at times overwhelmed. I think it takes a big good heart to really do a good job at seeing to someone else's needs instead of your own. Moms do this everyday. I was asked today to read a article about who I am. I wrote slightly about this awhile back and my answer was unsure. Well who I am is a mom who loves her kids more then any words can describe, a mom who will go out of her way to help them, to hug them, to scold them or just smile and give them my love. I am a wife who is far from perfect, who could be better at being a wife to someone who works hard for me everyday. I am a daughter to a mom that doesn't understand that true meaning but I love her anyway. I'm a daughter in law to a family I love and we may bicker but I'm pretty good at being a part of them. I am a friend, not to many but those who know me knows I'm here if they need me. I'm a child of God, which is something no one can take away from me,they can throw stones but Gods word tells me I'm His and that is all that matters. I'm under the law of unconditional love as long as I'm His, and that's how I feel towards the ones I care for. I love them without conditions. I know before especially from my mom, I wanted her to love me, but my journey was to learn how to love someone that didn't show love to me, and I conquered that one. I learned through my kids that you have to say your sorry and it will help you grow as a person.
I feel I'm on another journey now. I different kind of road that I'm not really sure where it goes. My mom is being cared for more by someone else and now that journey at some point will have a end. My daughter is getting married in a few days and this starts a new journey for her and me. My son is older and doing more on his own which leaves me with my hubby and I to figure out, ok what's next? I still have the caregiver nature, I'm sure that will always be there. It just may show in a different form. I'm a little afraid of this new journey but as the seasons change so do we and our situations.
The year gives us four seasons and I believe God has us go through a season of change, difficulty or the idea of not being sure who or what we are, but He also gives us a choose on how to go through these seasons or journeys, With Him or without. I've tried them both and Im here to say, even through much hardship my journey with God surpasses anything else that doesn't include God. I may not be ready for what's next but at least I know who has my back, and He is unmovable.
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