Learning to be me

I am trying to learn that being by myself is a good thing. I find that I search for things to do just to keep my mind occupied. It's in the idle times or even quiet times when I let my mind wonder from here to there. I try to fix my problems or others, I worry I stress and then I get mad at myself for doing that. I've been so used to doing, saying or thinking what I believe others need from me that I've forgotten how to do it for myself. Finding who I am or whom I'd like to be is a little difficult. I have a lot of quiet time and it's not always beneficial to anyone. The devil knows when and how to plant things in our view, he sits in waiting to conquer our minds. One thing though, I'm learning to stop him in his tracks because I'm learning to be thankful in my idle time. Problems are going to always be here and I certainly can't fix them but I can do my best to lean more towards God. I really need this to because I have found out that I'm not the best at being the Godly person I need to be. I do feel sorry for others and I don't want them hurt but I have also realized I don't like people like I used to. I've given others the benefit of the doubt for years and usually few surprise me. So I'm working on thinking better of others and trying to understand that I can't fix them, I can't make them think like me and I can't do magic to make them better, I can only be me and hope that some little something in me comes out so God and others knows I'm trying to be a better child of God. It matters to me how people are and I overthink how I should be so they will want to talk to me, or ask me to help or just know I'm a good person, and I am. I will say I have good traits, I love so much and my heart overflows daily with it. God did give me a caring heart and I hope it shows. So in my quiet time I'm working on myself. I want to here God say to me one day " well done my child " you fought the fight and you endured till the end. This is what needs to stay in my mind, this is what I will fight the devil with. I can only be me. I'm so far from perfect and so far from being all God wants me to be. I'm learning. I allow so much junk to hinder me, I allow what others do to bring me down and make me sad, I allow it. It's so easy to look at the bad, to hold on to what's wrong and who did what to us, that we forget there is so much good. I'm thanking God everyday for one special thing for sure, my heart and my tears. God gives us all something in us that we can share, what is yours? What do you do in your quiet time? As God says whatsoever is good think on these things:)