Opinion of mine

Ok let’s just talk about my opinion. It’s not yours, you don’t have to agree but you also don’t have to criticize. My opinion is just what I have learned in my 50 years of living a life full of ups and downs. It’s what I believe and what my gut tells me. I may not agree with yours or even understand but it doesn’t mean I can’t listen or try to see your side. That’s all I’m asking for myself.
We all have things in our life that have taught us so much that we at times need to share. You never know who is watching, or reading. I will say this again but it needs to be said, if your heart, mind and soul is saying let it out, well do it. For me if I don’t I feel as though I will explode. So I write it. It is very good therapy for me. Even if you don’t like to read try writing down your thoughts. If you think your thoughts are to bad, write them down then burn them. It’s a form of letting it go.
Everyone in life needs a outlit,  needs a way of release. My main two is God and writing. Ok I know not all believe in God, ( huge mistake in that) He’s real and He never leaves. I love knowing I’m not ever by myself. I may think at times I am but no, He’s always there. I’m the one who walks away. For me I believe God gives me my inspiration to write. He gives me words that become paragraphs. Now my dear diary moments are just me venting but believe me if I don’t its not good for anyone.
So in my very not so confident self, I’m telling you that, in my opinion find a out. Use your talent whatever that might be to give your mind relief. I know I don’t always say things correctly or my commas and English is not up to standard, but I don’t care. I don’t write to be perfect, I write to help myself and others feel better. Perfection is over rated. No one can qualify for that anyway. That’s to much to live up to.
So just being me with all my imperfections makes me happy enough in myself to keep going. Live a life that your children want to live, your friends want and your God is so very proud of.
Don’t be afraid to fail because you are learning and never give up or give in.
I hope to inspire you. Not with big words or being policticly correct, that’s not me.
So go do what you need to for yourself then you can help others. One of my favorite sayings, grow where your planted 😁

more then #metoo

   How could you
   I cried to you to stop
    I told you how this made me feel
I asked numerous times through texts
   How could you
Treat me like that
Abuse me like that
Make me feel ashamed
  How could you
Grab me
Pin me down
Push yourself on me
   How could you
You were not my friend
You did not respect me
You did not care
   How could you
Make me feel so weak
Make me feel it was my fault
Make me feel i wasn’t doing my job
   How could you
I thought it was me
I changed what I wore
I changed, not in a good way
   How could you
Say such things to me
Ask nasty questions
Then try to apologize
   How could you
Make me flinch
Be always on guard
And feel like I had to be there
   How could you
You were stronger
You were supposed to be my friend
You were my boss
It’s way more then a #metoo
 

Just random stuff

Today is not a heavy day. Since I’m going to only have one posting place, I might as well start now. I’m always thinking , my mind is like a light you can’t turn off. Anyway just some random things that I want to share. Lots of folks share what they like to eat, where they like to go, or vacation and even just stuff they like. Besides putting my thoughts out there today dear diary can take a day off.
This morning while I was brushing my hair, this is a good thing to do everyday, my thought went to this brush my daughter told me about. It’s the wet brush. It’s so good, doesn’t pull my hair out when it’s wet, or dry. Then as I proceeded with the getting ready process, which takes a little more then normal. I put on my hempz lotion. Let me tell ya, dry skin, sunburn this stuff is great. Soaks in as not to feel like you have any on. Smells good to.  In the winter my skin is terribly dry so I need this and face masks. Omgosh there are some great moisturizing ones. Some I’ve liked best has had chamomile, aloe, sugar maple etc in the them. My favs so far are Labotoca or purlisse brands. At my age a micro abrasive face wash is good to. Aging is so much fun. Not that this makes me look tons better but I feel better when my skin feels good. Oohh and I’m really into socks 🧦!! Soft ones especially. Put some lotion or some hair oil on your feet and it really helps with dryness to. And yes I said hair oil. It’s light and doesn’t feel oily. Also my daughter got me a electric toothbrush, yeah my teeth feel real good and clean with that. At first I wasn’t a fan, because it felt like my whole face was vibrating but once I felt how clean my teeth felt, don’t think I can use a regular one now. Just some little tips, I love babyfoot peel but I can’t afford that very much. It the best and really works. I can’t use those abrasive feet things, they make my feet sore or just messy. I can though soak my feet, scrub with a wash cloth and use a mild finger nail file. See we all have things that work best for us. No the cloth doesn’t make it like a baby’s butt, though it helps. I don’t think folks my age should use lots of makeup. For me it’s like my wrinkles soak it up, and it looks caked on. I have found Estée Lauder is best for me, plus it’s full coverage and you can touch it and it doesn’t always come off. Ok for now that enough of what I like. Ok wait.. one more house thing. I love mixing the melts for my burner, creating my own scents. All right enough about me. Please share with me some things you like, your can’t live without stuff. I might need something new to try. I love the 5 thing share that I try to do. So go for it. Thank you to those who actually put up with my crazy thoughts, dear diary moments and now random stuff. Love y’all

                               Dirt…y

Today is one of those days where I’m really tired and feeling not all together. I have another page on FB where I write what I’m thinking and as soon as I was finished more thoughts started pouring in. We will start with, I’m not as angry as I was yesterday which is so great. In the way I think about things you just don’t know how good it is. I’m always real hard on myself and not my usual self because I’m being hard on those that surround me to.
I’m learning more about myself and it’s pretty dirty. I don’t think a little dirt ever hurt anyone but you get to much grit in your eyes they get cloudy and things start to hurt. I think with all the thoughts that run through my mind, all the junk I see on tv and social media, I just feel dirty. Sometimes a good cleanse helps. For me sometimes putting it down on paper, well in this case my blog, I start to feel a little cleaner. I don’t think I realized how much unnecessary junk I’ve allowed to live in my head. No wonder I can’t remember anything , to much going in and not enough coming out. It’s plum crazy. How do folks go through life and have anything together with how this world is. I’m trying as I’ve said many times to clean up my way of thinking. I’m learning that its ok to be angry as long as I don’t hurt anyone and it’s ok to not always have everything together.
There will still be times I travel through the mud and if it’s summer and my shoes are off , I might even play a little. But I do know not to build a mud castle, I don’t want to live that dirty life of obstructing obstacles in my view. Play wise. A little dirt is good but never get to much that you can’t wash it off.. or out.. Have a nice rainy day but avoid most of the puddles:)

be real

I wanna stop being angry!! UGH!! You would think time would soothe these emotions, oh but no! As my last post said it’s because I never say what I should or need to at the time , I hold it in. Starting 2018 I was hoping I could just let it go🎼 Let it go, and just feel better, just accept and be happy. Ok I’m gonna try. I’m gonna try to be more positive then last year, but thing is I wanna be real. To explain I’ve always tried to put out something good, I’ve always been the positive person, hate negative Nancy stuff. To be honest these last 6 months I really understand the negativity. I get it. It’s so much easier to just think and feel what’s the use. The last months I would say a positive but only believe it half heartily. I would rather just be real with a hopeful verse or quote to help me through the day. Hey like before. I always believed in the positive quotes I made I just didn’t follow through with them. That’s it! That’s the ticket! Follow through, stand on it and use it .
Yell scream and throw something but most of all get it out and follow through with something good. I’m still using the scripture that I’ve said everyday, find the good and think on it. Overload your mind with good but be real, don’t act like everything is ok when it’s not. You can still be happy and live right even when your having a bad day, or month whatever. Just keep the good thoughts going there’s always always something to be thankful for. See I’m not as angry as when I started :). Writing helps with my issues. Find a out and use it..