My Tears

Every morning I walk outside to take my dog out and always look to the sky and do my best to be thankful. This morning was hard for me but it never should be. I didn't sleep well had to many things running through my head and a thought kept bothering me. My tears. I'm a cryer. I woke up just needing to cry. I felt my heart was just so full of feelings and they had to come out. 

I have written down my thoughts, feelings or whatever for as long as I can remember. I still do but some things I choose to share just for the reason that there may be someone who feels like I do and want them to know its ok.

Yeas ago I asked God to take my tears away and He did. I didn't feel the same, I didn't cry much at all and I wasn't me. I tried to be uncaring, didn't hug others much and just tried not to be bothered with feelings. I was miserable. After a few years I asked God for them back and I also said I was sorry because I feel like that was one of my gifts from Him. Welł guess what, if your blessed enough to receive your gift back, God gives it tenfold. I just thought I cried before.

Welł to today I cry at everything. I can look at my beautiful kids and my love just flows out my eyes. I can look at the sky and know I have much to be thankful for and cry. I cry with people or for people. It's like my heart overflows and the feelings got to come out. I cry if I'm happy or sad. I can see where my family would think, oh no moms going to cry. I just can't help it. I can't even hug my daughter without crying. I'm going to just lightly hug her and let go then I won't. One day if they are ever a parent they will see. I cry at just writing this, just at the thought of them. I cry when I pray..a lot.

Anyway, my thought from earlier is that I think God gives us all something to share, and I think it's my heart. It feels up and I cry. People would think me sad and yes sometimes but I cry with joy to. 

I had thought about asking God to hold back a little on my tears so I don't cry so much but I'm afraid if I do I won't be me. Those who know me well, know I will cry. 

So today though it's with saddness I am thankful for my tears. It's a way to cleanse my soul, to keep my heart from aching so much. To its for health reasons, you know what happens if you stifle your tears? You get a terrible headache. So headache verses tears well I'm gonna let them flow. I may walk away but I'll be crying. If there is anyone who feels this way, just thank God and except you have a big heart, and just cry, it's ok.