Are you a door mat?

On my morning run/walk I couldn't even concentrate on the music playing because my mind had its own agenda. Being irritated, discouraged or mad usually I hold it in because it usually does me no good to voice how I feel. This morning I was thinking about what God said, I can be angry just don't sin, but I'm wondering if holding it in all the time could be sin. Why? Well I'm hurting myself, I'm allowing others to dominate my life by not showing or saying how I really feel. My reasons for not saying anything is I don't want to hurt anyone or especially make them mad where I get the anger back at me. This is not good. Why are we sick sometimes, discouraged or feel unworthy? Are we really protecting anyone or ourselfs by holding everything in? I asked myself these questions this morning and this was my answer to myself.

I am worthy of being heard, I'm worthy of respect even if I feel the need to be loud or mad. My opinion matters the same as anyone else's, whether its heard or used or not. I'm somebody I'm not a door mat and that's how I've felt for years. I don't have to be all to everyone, I don't have to sit quietly while feeling like I don't matter or your words don't hurt. God gave me the same voice as you and I should be able to use it. I'm not wanting to hurt someone on purpose with my opinion and I won't but what I have to say counts. People can get mad and get over it. I'm so tired of negativity that I'm becoming it, it's true what your around you become. I don't like when others will say, just because their attitude is bad don't let it affect yours, yeah right. 

In my life I need confirmation, I need encouragement, I need positive thoughts because at times I feel I'm drowning with dealing with everybody else's stuff. I can't fix people I can help. I can't get you everything you want but I can work hard to try and help you. I will always do my best for you, I will think of you first and all I ask in return is the same respect I show to you. I know I've allowed so much junk in my life for fear of who knows what and I'm tired of it. I saw a saying/ quote that sort of said, I smile so you will never know my pain, those who choose to really know me, will know the difference. Today ask yourself,  are you being a door mat? What am I'm allowing in my life that I can take control over? Remember we can be mad just not stay mad. Encourage others to be themselves, this is why they are your friend, your spouse, your gf/bf, love them enough to realize the more negative and abusive others are that it brings us down makes us feel, we'll imagine a load of bricks tied to your feet and your barely holding on to the bank. It's a awful feeling. 

Yes I know God and I will say if not for Him it would be much harder. Let things out not to hurt others but to help yourself, don't be mean just because you can and though you think your right, you might not be. Don't be louder then those you say you love, really look at them and see how it hurts. Just because there are people around doesn't mean you still won't be lonely. A simple jester goes a long way and gives you a real smile.